6.27.2009

East West

So many changes have been going on lately and I just don't know what to think of it all. It's hard to take in all at once. It seems that this tends to happen, everything coming down around you at approximately the same time. On Monday, I went to a yoga class I never go to because I knew my teacher Nas was leaving for Turkey and I had very few classes left with her. She said "Hillary I'm surprised to see you here, it's a beginners class," and I said, "It's worth it to have class with you." In this class she made the surpising and deeply saddening revelation that she is returning to Turkey permanently. Something has happened in her life and she has to go. I started studying with her almost 2 years ago and feel so deeply indebted to her for all the things she has taught me and all the wisdom she has imparted. Her thoughts on life and yoga have helped help me move through life with more grace, patience, and acceptance. It's hard to express the deep gratitude I have for her.

Another shock arrived on Wednesday when another beloved teacher of mine Michelle told us that East West Yoga Studio is closing down and will be no more. Michelle's Saturday morning class today was my last class at East West, I went 6 straight days in a row this week. It's sad to say good bye to a place that is like your second home. A place that is a haven for you when life gets rough and scary and you feel yourself becoming anxious and your mind overactive. I could always go there knowing I would come out feeling a sense of tranquility. Today during savasana there was beautiful string music playing in the background and I entered almost a trance like state of calm. Moments like these are so precious, espescially when you have the kind of active mind I do. So sadly today I must say good bye to my second home, to the teachers I respect and love so dearly, but I will find them again in other places around the city. It won't be the same, but this is how life is, filled with imperanence. We must embrace change no matter how scary or unwelcome. I'm filled with sadness at this loss but also filled with such gratitude for everything my amazing teachers have imparted with me.

Yoga teaches us to breath, and to flow with life, so that when things gets tough and we go through periods of immense loss we don't let it break us, instead we tell ourselves that we must not fixate on the pain but focus on the present moment. We're on this planet such a short time, we must do our best to live in the moment and appreciate everyday because we are so lucky to be here. Om Shanti.

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